Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
