Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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