my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
operation have a gay friend backfired
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
