She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
