So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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