Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
