careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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