I'm lost and stupid without you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
