I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
