Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
