It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
