I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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