thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize