i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
