where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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