Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize