so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he fucked my hip out of place.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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