Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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