I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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