I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
