Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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