Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
jump out the window naked night went bad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
