I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
