Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
