Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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