it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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