you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
