Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This baby is an asshole
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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