remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
