my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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