DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
