I will die if light touches me.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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