You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
