I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
