Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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