The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
