You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
