What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I believe in your delicious
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
