I hate all girls vehemently.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
