please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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