Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
