So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize