mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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