whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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