She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize