I'm really into asian looking animals
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
