I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize