mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
