i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
