Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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