I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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