If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
