Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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