HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
