honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
