PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
