Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
