We're facebook friends in real life
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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