I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
