If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
