Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
