She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
